Stephen plays the drums, but he's not even the drummer in the band.
You think he's a guitarist, but he's secretly a very rhythmic man.
He's been licking his chops, practicing them too,
when he sits behind the kit he knows exactly what to do.

He's a dark horse drummer, not a bummer, and he's never uptight.
He knows the old fast songs and he actually plays them right.

Stephen is a Trekkie, but everybody thinks he is a punk –
He was even in a movie in the 80s, in which he played a punk.
He's a really sweet dude, it might come as a surprise,
He's the punkest motherfucker on the Starship Enterprise.
Stephen is a Trekkie, but everybody knows he is a punk.

Stephen plays the drums, he'd be the drummer if the buddies were a band.