What the hell is up with all the punks today?
They're pretending to be cowboys, yeah they're trying to get laid.
Everyone plays acoustic now and has facial hair,
At what point did the punks decide this was a good idea?

You know I like to turn it up,
I love that sound.
I like the old fast songs,
The ones that tear it down.

Everyone is talking about "The Band" -
I used to think that was the Ramones, not Robertson.
So come on all you Howdy boys, I'm starting to get pissed,
How's a band supposed to thrash if you've got a pianist?