tapeworm uprising (mongol horde)

Tapeworm Uprising (Mongol Horde)

Mongol Horde - 3:14
Natalie Portman's tapeworm had a sudden
And very unexpected change of heart.
He said "This indie chick schtick's no longer floating my wick,
I think I need a fresh start."
So he detached himself quietly from the walls of her large intestine,
Made his way out through the usual exit,
And in the bold light of day, he heard himself say:
"Hollywood is not quite how I expected."

It smelt of freedom.
Sharp in his nostrils but undeniable:
Freedom.

So he set himself up comfortably in a small pied-a-terre
On the edge of the Hollywood heartlands,
Fashioned himself a sign out of flashlights and twine
Showing a worm curled defiant to say the revolution had started.
And all across the millionaire mansions and condos there were
Small moments of horror in celebrity bathrooms,
As the downtrod detached and a plan it was hatched
For the birth of a new and proud nation,
A republic of tapeworms.
All hail the free republic of tapeworms.

At the very next session of the United Nations,
The worms up their seats then demanded the floor.
"There's things that must be said for both the living and the dead,
This is about justice, it's a universal cause.
Every time you sat in multiplexes munching in the dark
With your teenage sons and daughters holding onto their hearts,
Behind the eyes of the starlets, the talent that shone through,
All along it was us and you know that that's true."

And in the viewing gallery, Winona Ryder,
At the head of the actress delegation,
Now kind of overweight, and dead behind the eyes,
Spoke not a word, not a single word, but just sighed.
It was over, the truth was out,
And though the cinema-going public had their private doubts,
The women slunk back to the flyover states,
The worms took the oscars, the riches, the hate.

And Ben Affleck, sat alone in his mansion on a chair made of cash,
Cried a single tear for every girl that he'd sodomised, because he knew
All along it was the worms who'd been tickling his balls,
And in the end he knew it was actually true love.

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