Hey, you bastards! I am Chamoule, the french organizer of your little beloved singer.
I have kidnapped him and he is now in a room, naked, with James Blunt and Johnny Halliday coming out of a real loud speaker!!! If you want to have back this Gandalf-like english guy, you’ll have to do some things in the UK…
First, give a call to your girl/boyfriend to tell him/her “YOU ARE A STUPID JERK, AND THAT’S WHY I HAD SEX WITH FRANK TURNER”!
Second, learn one song of the EP and scream it in a police station dressed like a lamantin!
And Third, send a love letter to Frank’s adress and the best one (or the worst…) will be sang by Frank in a special surprise show day!!!
You better begin now because a i have spies everywhere in the UK, watching and reporting me the facts. If not, i will put Frank in a room with naked one-bra girls with a moustache, a baguette, a stripped pull, a beret and a garlic collar; and they will all begin to sing “My Humps” of Black Eyed Peas!!!
Now stop playing to World of Warcraft and go do all i wrote you bunch of little brats.